Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
