Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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