Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
