Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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