So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He felt like a one man threesome
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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