At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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