I puked a lego.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
