This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
