Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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