the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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