We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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