Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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