maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
