member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
