I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
