Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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