She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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