If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
