Only a mothe r could love this liver
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
