My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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