Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize