The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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