Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
