Can Purell be used as lube?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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