i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
