Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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