didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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