Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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