im six kinds of drunk right now
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
