i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
