I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i barfeds in our rink
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
