im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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