Ambien. No doubt about it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
