I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
