Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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