Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
