winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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