why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize