I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
