I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
