we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
