I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
