PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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