I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
