If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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