Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
