Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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