i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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