Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
