4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
