is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
