I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
