ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
