Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize