I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
