I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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