How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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