If i come over, it means nothing
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
