stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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