he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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