Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
