i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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