I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
