My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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