I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize